Why you should never compare yourself to anyone (especially your husband!)

2 Jul

Some of you already know that in early September, I am competing in the Bridge to Brisbane fun run this year. I am NOT a runner. I love to dance, zumba, box and pump it.  Running, not so much.

However, I enjoy challenging my personal fitness goals in an effort to stay motivated and shake things up.  Running, even 5 or 10km, is that challenge.

I have been training over the past month or so and steadily increasing my P.B (that’s ‘Personal Best’ for you non-running folk).

What you may not know is that hubby is also competing, but until yesterday, had not run anywhere other than from the car to the beer store.

So…given it was his first time, I hoped expected him to suffer and thought I would need to take it easy on him.

So not the case. At all.

He killed it out there! His basket-baller limbs propelled him forward effortlessly while I ran alongside like the proverbial energizer bunny on speed. I kept pace but only just, and by the end of our run, I was beet-faced and breathing ragged.

He looked like he was just warming up. (He sucks, right?)

At that moment, standing by his side – I felt quite disheartened and a little aggravated.

It didn’t matter to me that he plays soccer and is younger with a 6ft.1” stride compared to my (almost) 5.6”

I had worked hard to be able to run that far and there he was blitzing it on his first go.

It was a slapping reminder why it is never good to compare yourself to others.

Caz Makepeace from Mojito Mother recently did an in-depth podcast on the subject.  She surmises that we should be comparing our achievements to our own personal goals  rather than the successes of other people.

  • Comparisons only shed light on what is lacking in your life.
  • Comparing your own achievements to others can make you feel unhappy, less than, or resentful.
  • Every time you do it, you are automatically highlighting your shortcomings

In summary –

No matter what you do or how long you learn or master a new skill – there is always going to be someone who can do it better.  Furthermore, you are at risk of comparing your whole worth with their one superior skill-set.

No good can come of this!

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on yourself

  • Look at your own personal strengths and values. Appreciate them.
  • Increase your own game.  Compare yourself to yourself.
  • Love yourself with all your imperfections.

As long as you are doing your best – your best is good enough. What more can you do?

*Finally, if all else fails…run twice as hard and twice as often and put itching powder in your opponents shoes in the day of the race.



14 Responses to “Why you should never compare yourself to anyone (especially your husband!)”

  1. Terry Murphy July 2, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    Interesting piece…as always, I love the style. But “don’t compare yourself to others”? So London has been wasting all this money for next year, as many cities before? We should not compete? (Well the answer is probably “yes”, but for other reasons…haha)

    But I know what you mean, even an Olympic athlete actually spends more time focusing on their own personal best than that of the competition.

    However, (ummm, 2 buts and a however, quite a dog-leg in this comment) I believe if you do compare yourself with others, you should not allow yourself to become downhearted. You are right, everyone is better than each other at something. This is the glory of comparison, to celebrate the differences and the accomplishments of our fellow man, not to feel antagonistic towards them. If we feel unhappy or resentful, we should also feel empowered to improve.

    Let hubby win the warm-up, how good is his blog writing? And who has grown more with the challenge?

    I had fun with this one, keep them coming…:)

    • Kirri White July 3, 2011 at 5:36 am #

      You are right, some comparison is inevitable but focusing on your own game and progress is paramount.
      I’m glad you had fun with this post Terry… I did too!

  2. Caz Makepeace July 2, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    Thanks for the mention in your post Kirri! I really appreciate it. Just entering into the run is an accomplishment in itself. I am sure you will do really well. I hate running to and would much prefer a hearty zumba class.
    Can’t wait to hear all about it.

    • Kirri White July 3, 2011 at 5:54 am #

      You’re welcome Mojito Mumma! Thanks for your support.

  3. Beck July 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm #

    Great post as always Kirri.
    I agree about comparing yourself to others. It can be a hurtful experience.
    I’m sure you’ll do great with with your run xx

    • Kirri White July 3, 2011 at 5:52 am #

      Thanks Beck. I appreciate your visit today.

  4. Lola July 4, 2011 at 5:00 am #

    Hey Kirri,

    In case you haven’t heard it lately, “I am so thankful to God for knowing you and having you in my life, (although now long distance).” As you know me, you know that I really needed to read this blog. Thank you! Keep them coming. You encourage, inspire and help me to keep on, even when I don’t want to.

    Will try to email you soon and send some photos.


    • Kirri White July 7, 2011 at 5:48 am #

      Lola…Im truly blessed by your ongoing presence in my life and your thoughful, kind words. You know what you have to do…the first step is the hardest but the pay off is unimaginable. Much love to you and yours xx

  5. mamagrace71 July 6, 2011 at 7:19 pm #

    So, so true ! “Increase your own game”
    That’s how I’m approaching my running. There will always be others better than me (you should see the mums I run with…they leave me in the dust), but I’m just happy knowing that I’m slowly and steadily improving.
    The worse thing we can do is put the pressure on ourselves and make comparisons to others.
    Love your work x

    • Kirri White July 7, 2011 at 5:45 am #

      I wont compare my own progress to yours Grace, but I sure could do with some more running tips, any time you wish to impart them. It seems like an awful big jump from 5km to 10.

  6. countingducks July 6, 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    Enjoyed this. Possibly comparing yourself to others is good for short term motivation , ( or demotivation if you are unlucky) but in the long run you are accountable to yourself and being better or worse than someone else at any one thing is not a comment on your general worth. Improving yourself regardless of others is a goal worth aiming for. There you go. You’ve got me sounding off again. Better shut up.

    • Kirri White July 7, 2011 at 5:41 am #

      “Being better or worse than someone else at any one thing is not a comment on your general worth” – bang on! Thank you Peter 🙂

  7. July 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Personal best! Well done.


    • Kirri White July 8, 2011 at 5:54 am #

      Big thanks for your visit and comment today, Julie.
      I appreciate it!

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