Tag Archives: passion

Speak less of your plans

20 Jun

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.

You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

Writing prompt by Author Laura Kimball

I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?

There is a little secret passion I keep concealed beneath many layers of half-truths and maybes.

Sometimes it emits a burning light  that I wish I could share with the rest of the world.   Other times, it taunts me, demanding to be revealed so that I will be disgraced and humiliated for even contemplating that I could share in it’s power. Ha!

Painful and beautiful…it rests in the gap that inhabits my total truth.

The place I go to play when I dream in glorious wonder, only to awake firmly rooted in doubt…once more.

It’s that teeny space between the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘dont be so bloody stupid’ girl!

You know exactly what Im talking about….dont you?

I did something though.

I made a bold move towards claiming this elusive piece of me.

In doing so,  I imagined that I would rise up – shattering the glass encasing my secret passion and bask in it’s glow…FEARLESS.

Instead, I  realised that it was just the first step in many and that part of me is still holding back, only half-showing up.

Perplexing to have your self-imposed walls re-erected after you seemingly faced a demon. Bah.

I know what my next move is.  I’m just not sure how it’s going to play out.

Isn’t that part of the allure though?

~Kirri

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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How being a mum can lead to highly successful habits

24 May

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

A couple of weeks ago, I had an Oprah-esque ‘Aha’ moment while watching Australia’s Masterchef.  One of the top 24 contestants, Kate – occupation ‘mum,’ was taking part in a team challenge which involved being woken (after two hours sleep) to bake artisan-worthy bread for eight hours straight.

A lot of the contestants emerged bleary-eyed and cranky, but not this Mumma!  She cheerily narrated that parenthood had more than prepared her for this type of challenge:

when you are a mum, you get used to having to work hard,
whether you like it or not, whether you feel like it or not.

Damn straight, I thought. This woman’s going to bake some killer bread!

Becoming a mum is fraught with experiences that can lead you to a whole new level of learning. From the very first moment you gingerly claim your newborn …your life is no longer yours.  You are officially ‘owned’, required to be on call 24 /7 and have orders communicated to you in a cacophonous language not yet fully understood by either parties.

Days and nights blend into the same monochrome and for many new parents, the outside world can seem like an alternate universe.

I know that some mums allegedly give birth to “sleepers” *dislike* but for most of us, becoming a parent is an exhausting exercise comparable to the effects of sleep deprivation-torture-tactics used in war-fare.

And no, you don’t get to call in sick….ever.

I have had to lay, vomit bucket at head-level while my three-year olds whined and pulled my hair in an effort to “stop mummy being boring”.  Fortunately, I also had my life-saving five-year old at hand, who was able to make lunch among puddles of juice and vegemite smears.

While many childless couples look forward to engaging in some serious ‘lounging’ on the weekends, mummies have forgotten that it is in fact the weekend.

No down time for you sistah!  It’s business as usual, 365 days a year.

Such is the nature of the unwritten job description.  You may not realise that ‘this’ is exactly what you signed up for but you step up and you do it.

Not to say that it’s all hard work and tears.  There are many positives to having your world shaken sideways by mummyhood. After a while, you catch your groove, and inadvertently find you have adopted a few habits of the ‘highly successful’.

For example:

You now have the permanent built-in alarm of a serious go-getter that wakes you up early no matter what. You may even morph into a healthier version of yourself, given that you no longer go out partying every weekend till 5am.

Establishing routines, organising schedules and planning events are things that have now become second nature. Household supplies and food are dutifully replenished, budgets micro-managed and a multitude of other tasks accomplished every day.

You get used to working diligently without being pushed, asked, thanked…or sometimes even noticed.

The mood of a small child can easily dictate how your day will play out from moment to moment.  As such you learn to adjust plans accordingly.  You become far more resilient and capable at handling the downright ugly and seemingly impossible. Even in public.

As your child’s first role model, you become more adept at building and maintaining positive relationships, promoting perseverance and cooperation.  With kidlet eyes now taking in your every move, you try to emulate ‘goodness’.  You become a leader without a title, far more responsible, self-contained and polite.  You become better at controlling and managing yourself and your emotions….most of the time anyway.

Flippancy to the side…being a mum can lead to strengthening all of the skills you gained as a singleton, with the addition of a few more.  In my humble opinion.

All learning has an emotional base ~Plato

Being a mum may not always educate the intellect but it does educate the heart.  The emotional intelligence I have gained in seven years of parenting remains unparalleled.  Coincidentally, emotional intelligence has been widely reported as one of the strongest indicators for success in life and directly affects ones psychological well-being (ref).

I read somewhere that the brain gives knowledge but the heart gives direction. As a mum even though your heart now moves independent of your body – the sense of purpose, passion and direction you feel can spur you on to achieve greatness in all areas of life.

Sidenote: Some of you may be thinking that this particular blog is biased and a tad dismissive of non-parents or even daddy’s.

I would concur.

But sometimes a mummy needs to hear that she is valued, competent, resourceful and freakin’ fabulous!

She needs to understand that the skills and experiences acquired through parenthood hold relevance in any environment and that she is a successful contributing member of society right here and now.

Nuff said!

~ Kirri

How champagne and a friend like Lucy can lead to kick-ass inspiration!

27 Apr

I had a different blog post ready to go today. One I had painstakingly pored over, edited and re-edited.  Then something major happened.   I spent three hours with my friend Lucy over a lovely champagne brunch and was so inspired that I had to write about it….today.

I’m warning you now that this is a ‘write and hit publish’ piece.  There will be no well-researched ideas and possibly even a few typos or ill-chosen words.  Sometimes you just have to run with it.

A bit of background for you- Lucy and I have been friends for over 10 years.  We met in a particularly classy joint (for the Gold Coast) and I’m pretty sure Lucy was fresh off the school bus!

I remember her as a fun, friendly, naturally gorgeous and unaffected femme with a light-bulb smile and heart to match.  Someone you liked instantly.

We shared in a good six months of epic fun with a large group of mutual friends.  Following that, life took us on separate paths and adventures and for several years we had little contact, other than the usual social media exchanges.

Like many friendships, ours had been one firmly planted in ‘good times’. We actually knew very little about each other – never talked about our dreams, fears and passions or what as a coach, I now refer to as the “real “stuff. Yeah, the bravado of youth had something to do with it but that doesn’t mean those things didn’t exist.  Being vulnerable was a road we either consciously or unconsciously chose not to venture down.

This week, that changed.

Our conversation scratched beneath the surface and in three hours we learnt more about what really mattered than in the ten years prior.  We shared our goals, passions, mind-blocks and secret business ideas. Furthermore, we learnt that not only could we support each other – we had mad skillz that could be used for mutual benefit!

I came away feeling motivated, energized, and inspired.

A real life example of how a few words of encouragement and talking over heart-felt desires can reaffirm and stir that belly-fire.

Freakin’ love that feeling, right?

 

Get real

Made me think though.

How many times do we ask friends how their lives or jobs are going, just because that’s what we do?  Much like a perfunctory kiss – we do it out of habit, devoid of any real intention.

How’s work going?  Still at the same place yeah?  What are you up to this weekend?

Often, it’s one of the first things we learn about one another…a piece of information we quickly process and hand out later, to indicate we know the person by what they ‘do’

He works for a bank.

She takes care of the kids at home……

They’re both travelling round South America, taking pictures of native bird species…or something.

Who really cares right?

Me? Not so much.

I do, however, want to know what you like to do for fun, what instrument you regretfully stopped playing when you were ten and the top five places you want to travel to before you die.

I’m even more intrigued to hear about the exciting possibilities that keep you awake at night….the stuff you have been pondering for the past three years but haven’t had the guts to share with anyone – just in case you don’t end up doing it.

Why do we keep all that brilliant stuff inside anyway?

Are we scared we are going to be judged or laughed at?  Or, are we scared to step out and shine?

Do yourself a favour now.  Stop asking friends, family and even acquaintances about their job and start finding out what their real story is.

Start sharing your real story while you are at it.

We all have a talent, purpose or message to share with the world.  We all want an opportunity to shine.

So get busy sharing that special stuff with those that matter.  You never know where it may lead to.

                                                                        

Surround yourself with positive, passionate people

Much like my champagne soiree with Lucy; sometimes all it takes is the right opportunity and inclination to ‘get deep.’

I’ve written before about how people are wired to desire connection.

The world is run off relationshipsFriends, family and even acquaintances provide a veritable buffet of wisdom, skills and encouragement.  Readily available and often untapped.

You get to choose your network so stick with the peeps that will lift your game, expect the best and deliver the most.

In short:

– Surround yourself with positive, passionate people.  They will help change your reality.

– Be genuine and vulnerable. See the possibility in others and share that belief in one another.

– Success is not mutually exclusive. By helping others with their dreams, we breathe possibility into our own.

– Your success equals my success.

Is it pure chance that I got exactly what I needed at this point and time, delivered right to my door step?

I don’t believe so.

Perhaps it was just our time to really connect.  Maybe the champagne enabled the conversation to flow that bit easier.

All I know for sure is that I am extremely grateful for friends like Lucy…and bubbles.

~ Kirri

Don’t forget to share  your own stories of encouragement and inspiration in the comments and please share the love by hitting the facebook or twitter buttons!

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