Speak less of your plans

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.

You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

Writing prompt by Author Laura Kimball

I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?

There is a little secret passion I keep concealed beneath many layers of half-truths and maybes.

Sometimes it emits a burning light  that I wish I could share with the rest of the world.   Other times, it taunts me, demanding to be revealed so that I will be disgraced and humiliated for even contemplating that I could share in it’s power. Ha!

Painful and beautiful…it rests in the gap that inhabits my total truth.

The place I go to play when I dream in glorious wonder, only to awake firmly rooted in doubt…once more.

It’s that teeny space between the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘dont be so bloody stupid’ girl!

You know exactly what Im talking about….dont you?

I did something though.

I made a bold move towards claiming this elusive piece of me.

In doing so,  I imagined that I would rise up – shattering the glass encasing my secret passion and bask in it’s glow…FEARLESS.

Instead, I  realised that it was just the first step in many and that part of me is still holding back, only half-showing up.

Perplexing to have your self-imposed walls re-erected after you seemingly faced a demon. Bah.

I know what my next move is.  I’m just not sure how it’s going to play out.

Isn’t that part of the allure though?

~Kirri

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your message to the world?

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.  You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

(Author: Eric Handler)

What one thing brings more meaning to life than any other?

What do I aspire to and hope to inspire in others, through all my relationships and my daily actions?

What is this fountain that pours forth endlessly and carries purpose, passion and happiness in its stream?  A place that in sharing you can find limitless connection and personal growth?

A simple idea espoused by many throughout the centuries and for me, phrased most eloquently by a Persian mystic –

It is love that holds everything together and it is everything also

~Rumi

Image and quote sourced from ‘Rumi’

Too scary to write about or do?

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.  You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

Day nine prompt by Author Mary Jaksch:

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

(Author: Mary Jaksch)

Too scary to write about…really?  There is nothing I am afraid to write about.  A lot of scary stuff I have explored remains in a journal aptly titled ‘Don’t you dare’.

Just because you can write about it doesn’t necessarily mean you should – at least in such a public space.

Something that is too scary for me to DO?

That’s easy. To write about.

Confront my fear of public speaking.

(I have Terry to thank for making this more public… in the comments section of an earlier post. Cheers mate!)

My eldest daughter is now seven and required to give little talks in front of her class on a weekly basis.  Maybe its show and tell, discussing the highlights of her weekend or what healthy snacks are in her lunch-box that day. Whatever the topic and for whatever reason she takes to it like the Beckhams to Prada.  Most unlike me.

There have been many times when I have had to take centre stage – speeches and debates at school, presentations at university and coaching seminars. I can do it the but I hate it and I’m not good at it either.

Lets just say that there was a good reason for me being nick-named “Little Red” or “Blossom”.

I’m not going to state here and now how I will exactly tackles this fear, which in my defence is now termed Glossophobia and has been cited as one of the most prevalent fears held by people all over the world.

What I know for sure is that if I don’t do anything about it….My coaching business will not grow in the direction I want it to and I will not be all that I can be.

I will be limited by fear and that’s not how I want to continue living my life.

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What I would say to myself -five years ago and five years on?

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.  You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

Day eight prompt by Author: Corbett Barr

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

What would I say to the person I was five years ago?

All that hurt you’re still carrying around?  The raw grief that separates you from others, leaving you both fragile and indifferent? The experience of having your anchor stripped violently away from its mooring, leaving you alone, lost, untethered?

As unbearable as it still seems now…..you will move forward.  The pain will endure but with less power and gravity. You will learn to keep it tucked away in your pocket and surprisingly, there will come a time when you can draw strength from his memory and smile at his face.

From this place of heartache, you will learn, grow and love more than you ever imagined.  You will experience first hand that death does not have the power to end a relationship. Love endures and binds forever.

And that ugly little voice that used to taunt about death and pain and illness?  It will become a benign reminder that this month, day or year could be your last.

So you had better make the most of it!  Seriously.

And you do.

What will you say to the person you will be in five years?

You are one lucky beeyatch! 

Where did you get those shoes?

~Kirri

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Source of image

Daring to be bold my way

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.  You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

Day seven prompt by Author: Matt Cheuvront

“Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneurs worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious.

A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. Its only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.” – Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.

Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.

The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?

This writing prompt had me flummoxed.  I kept envisaging BIG – things that involved changing the world, lots of money and a sense of danger   The seemingly impossible and frightening.

Strangely, I dont have a fear of a lot of so called adventure pursuits.  I’ve shimmied my way down rock faces, jumped off steep cliffs into dark waters and camped without a shower for three days. Ha – That’s big!

Sky-diving and bungee jumping look like fun, if I were willing to put that amount of money into it…which Im not.

Something bold that speaks to me? Something I gave up on too early or failed to pursue because I was too lazy, because it was too hard ? Because I was scared?

Investing fully in a new creative outlet.

Mastering a foreign language, learning an instrument or joining a local theatre. Any of these would be fantastic. They have often played on my mind but I have always assuaged my inner voice by remaining a spectator.

I like to be reasonably good at something straight away or with minimal effort and if Im not…I have a history of giving up.

So I did German for four years but could never get past an introductory conversation with my fluent father, played the piano for two but was put off by a perpetually grouchy music teacher.  I also danced on and off for more than 10 years (and was pretty damn good) but sadly, never moved past the thought of it not being a “real” profession.

Regrets and excuses? Yes.   Standing in my own way again…yup.

What am I going to do about it?

I’m not sure.  I do know that I will continue to have signs thrown in my path unless I take action- a flyer about a local theatre at the library, watching my daughter at dance class and experiencing envy…ditto husband when he turns Canadian-French on me 🙂

The danger of making promises is that someone may call me out on it and keep me accountable.

Yeah..you guys!

I will explore my options, see where intuition takes me and what I can access locally.   I can promise that I am driven to do this and that I will commit to taking up a new creative venture…sometime in the next couple of months.

Feel free to keep me accountable.

~Kirri

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Source of image 

Resolve to do only what makes you come alive

Written by Kirri White.  Follow me on twitter or facebook.

You can also contact me by email –  kirri@happymumsathome.com

This post is part of the #trust30 writing initiative, inspired by Ralph Waldo Emersons “Self-reliance” that encourages you to look within and trust yourself.  You can find further details regarding the challenge here.

Day six prompt by Author Jonathan Mead

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

The notion of having one week to live is a lot easier to deal with than a mere 15 minutes and I imagine that I would spend much of it going about my ‘busyness’ in a state of denial…..given that I’m immortal and all.   But seriously – this question finds me in a good place.

Aside from over-thinking and a natural-born tendency to worry about others, I truly feel that I am currently living in line with my passion and purpose.   Moreover, I have more love in my life than I know what to do with….want some?  It’s good stuff.

If you had posed the same question six months ago, I would not have been able to provide the same answer…so that speaks volumes.  To me anyhow.

I think its inevitable to periodically be in an “always something better” spiral.  Not to say that I am immune to those feelings but right here and right now –

My life is filled with more love and blessings than I had could have ever wished for.

I am contributing to make my tiny piece of this planet a better place and I’m feeling it.

To Stop list:

-Minimise the over-analysis and pondering in general.  Daydreams are fun but continue to participate in life whole-heartedly.

-Fear Shmeer. Retaliate. Topple them one at a time but remember that you don’t have to do it all today.

-The pursuit of perfection and being everything to everyone?   It’s exhausting right?  Take a break from it.

To do list or things that make me come alive

Playing like a child with my kidlets.  Engaging and connecting, taking part in their games is not only fun but leaves me feeling loved up and carefree

Walking in the sunshine. I’m a regular gym goer and have just started running but going for a leisurely walk, preferably near the water and taking in the air and the life of nature increases my feelings of aliveness and peace.

Socialise more with friends and family  – organise get togethers rather than letting someone else do it or waiting for an invite.

Be bold, spontaneous….do and learn new things that challenge my perspective and extend my comfort zone.

~Kirri

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have discovered you have 15 minutes to live….

For the next 30 days I will be taking part in the #trust30 writing challenge, an online initiative that encourages you to reflect on the now and create direction for your future.

Inspired by the Domino Project, it is part of a celebration of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s 208th birthday – a great thinker, who encouraged self-reliance and betterment.

Used to being the first one at the party,  I’m joining this challenge a day late…so expect a double post in the next day or two.  Please feel free to join me in the challenge or share your own musings in the comments section.

Day one: Writing prompt by Gwen Bell – “You have discovered you have 15 minutes to live”

Who am I kidding?  Anyone who has known me for more than a week is most likely to guess what I would be doing in my last 15 minutes on earth….blubbering  for approximately 450 seconds, flailing my arms wildly and then crying some more.

Most.Likely.Scenario.

However…somewhere between those deep gasping sobs, I would like to think that

a) I would not be chained to my laptop or iphone

b) I was surrounded by my family and loved ones

c) that I could see the skyline and feel the sand beneath my feet and

d) that I had a handy bottle of champagne in my possession….maybe even tequila?

I would be grateful for the seeds of love sown in my life, the ones that scattered and took root in the hearts of many.

I would regret that I held back too often, that I was too shy to follow up a smile with a meaningful conversation and that I had left many personal fears undefeated.

A whole bunch of plausible clichés come to mind….

One thing is for sure – 15 minutes is smaller than a grain of rice in the big scheme of things.

Yet, its long enough to give yourself a gentle nudge…to wake the hell up and not just to dream big but to live and love big….with a fearless heart and an open mind.

Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.
—      Ralph Waldo Emerson

How champagne and a friend like Lucy can lead to kick-ass inspiration!

I had a different blog post ready to go today. One I had painstakingly pored over, edited and re-edited.  Then something major happened.   I spent three hours with my friend Lucy over a lovely champagne brunch and was so inspired that I had to write about it….today.

I’m warning you now that this is a ‘write and hit publish’ piece.  There will be no well-researched ideas and possibly even a few typos or ill-chosen words.  Sometimes you just have to run with it.

A bit of background for you- Lucy and I have been friends for over 10 years.  We met in a particularly classy joint (for the Gold Coast) and I’m pretty sure Lucy was fresh off the school bus!

I remember her as a fun, friendly, naturally gorgeous and unaffected femme with a light-bulb smile and heart to match.  Someone you liked instantly.

We shared in a good six months of epic fun with a large group of mutual friends.  Following that, life took us on separate paths and adventures and for several years we had little contact, other than the usual social media exchanges.

Like many friendships, ours had been one firmly planted in ‘good times’. We actually knew very little about each other – never talked about our dreams, fears and passions or what as a coach, I now refer to as the “real “stuff. Yeah, the bravado of youth had something to do with it but that doesn’t mean those things didn’t exist.  Being vulnerable was a road we either consciously or unconsciously chose not to venture down.

This week, that changed.

Our conversation scratched beneath the surface and in three hours we learnt more about what really mattered than in the ten years prior.  We shared our goals, passions, mind-blocks and secret business ideas. Furthermore, we learnt that not only could we support each other – we had mad skillz that could be used for mutual benefit!

I came away feeling motivated, energized, and inspired.

A real life example of how a few words of encouragement and talking over heart-felt desires can reaffirm and stir that belly-fire.

Freakin’ love that feeling, right?

 

Get real

Made me think though.

How many times do we ask friends how their lives or jobs are going, just because that’s what we do?  Much like a perfunctory kiss – we do it out of habit, devoid of any real intention.

How’s work going?  Still at the same place yeah?  What are you up to this weekend?

Often, it’s one of the first things we learn about one another…a piece of information we quickly process and hand out later, to indicate we know the person by what they ‘do’

He works for a bank.

She takes care of the kids at home……

They’re both travelling round South America, taking pictures of native bird species…or something.

Who really cares right?

Me? Not so much.

I do, however, want to know what you like to do for fun, what instrument you regretfully stopped playing when you were ten and the top five places you want to travel to before you die.

I’m even more intrigued to hear about the exciting possibilities that keep you awake at night….the stuff you have been pondering for the past three years but haven’t had the guts to share with anyone – just in case you don’t end up doing it.

Why do we keep all that brilliant stuff inside anyway?

Are we scared we are going to be judged or laughed at?  Or, are we scared to step out and shine?

Do yourself a favour now.  Stop asking friends, family and even acquaintances about their job and start finding out what their real story is.

Start sharing your real story while you are at it.

We all have a talent, purpose or message to share with the world.  We all want an opportunity to shine.

So get busy sharing that special stuff with those that matter.  You never know where it may lead to.

                                                                        

Surround yourself with positive, passionate people

Much like my champagne soiree with Lucy; sometimes all it takes is the right opportunity and inclination to ‘get deep.’

I’ve written before about how people are wired to desire connection.

The world is run off relationships.  Friends, family and even acquaintances provide a veritable buffet of wisdom, skills and encouragement.  Readily available and often untapped.

You get to choose your network so stick with the peeps that will lift your game, expect the best and deliver the most.

In short:

– Surround yourself with positive, passionate people.  They will help change your reality.

– Be genuine and vulnerable. See the possibility in others and share that belief in one another.

– Success is not mutually exclusive. By helping others with their dreams, we breathe possibility into our own.

– Your success equals my success.

Is it pure chance that I got exactly what I needed at this point and time, delivered right to my door step?

I don’t believe so.

Perhaps it was just our time to really connect.  Maybe the champagne enabled the conversation to flow that bit easier.

All I know for sure is that I am extremely grateful for friends like Lucy…and bubbles.

~ Kirri

Don’t forget to share  your own stories of encouragement and inspiration in the comments and please share the love by hitting the facebook or twitter buttons!